


You Can't Change Me (I Was Born This Way)

by rainbowflavored_fiction



Series: 7 Days of Hollstein [7]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: 7 Days of Carmilla, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hollstein against the world, Other, Papa Hollis A+ parenting :/, Past Abuse, Pride Parade, trigger warning: PTSD, youtube au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 12:21:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11714289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowflavored_fiction/pseuds/rainbowflavored_fiction
Summary: For the 2nd Annual Carmilla Week, Saturday, 8/5. Theme- Pride. The month of June had always been hard for Laura, as it was seven years ago when Carmilla rescued her from her abusive home. But with Carmilla's love, and reminders that her feelings are valid and good, each day is easier than the last. This year at Pride, Carmilla is determined to make it the best one yet.Viewer discretion is advised. Deals with heavy themes with past physical abuse; read at your own risk.





	You Can't Change Me (I Was Born This Way)

**Author's Note:**

> It was very therapeutic, writing this story. I had started writing this last year, back in a time when I was scared and feeling hurt. I had intended for this to be a multi-chapter story, told in different povs, and it was a release for me. But then I started writing other stories and quickly forgot about this one, until Carmilla Week came along so I decided, you know what, why don't I just spruce it up to fit the theme? And viola! That's how I was able to write 15k words within four days, lol. It's a little different than what I normally write, I know, but if it's not your cup of tea then feel free to skip over this one. If not, then I hope you enjoy, creampuffs! Let me know what you think <3 (I'm emotional)

_" **Somebody,**_ **your father or mine, should have told us that not many people have ever died of love. But multitudes have perished, and are perishing every hour--and in the oddest places!--for the lack of it.** "-James Baldwin

* * *

**June 26** **th** **, 2022**

"Good morning, creampuffs," Carmilla smiled at the camera, yawning sleepily. "It's another day, it's another vlog… and I'm sure for those of you who have been with us from the very start, you know what day it is." She mumbled softly, patting her beloved black cat named Panther, who just hopped onto the counter.

Seven years.

It's hard to believe it's been that long since.

Seven years ago, she received a frightened call from her girlfriend, because her father was in the middle of a rampage. He was drunk, angry, spouting unforgiving words at his only daughter. It makes Carmilla's skin crawl at how long her beloved Laura had to withstand that type of treatment for so long.

Her father's parenting style bordered the pathological ever since her mother abandoned them. Convinced that Laura would always be 'his precious little girl', he had a different life in mind for her, a safe life—a life that was meant to be shared with a  _man._

Carmilla mentally scoffed at that. Ever since Laura was a child, she shared no interest in boys. Never went through a boy phase. Never batted an eyelash at the popular bands like One Direction or the phenomenon that Justin Bieber became. The girl was sheltered, all her life, from the world around her.

When they first met in college, it was Laura's first time ever away from home. Carmilla remembered when she had burst into their room, and Laura was all wide-eyed and in awe of her. Soaking in everything like a little bird just coming out of its egg.

Carmilla was immediately smitten by her, as she tried to push herself away from her. She knew Laura was a lesbian the moment they met (it was like the girl was holding a vibrant sign across her head), and it terrified her because Laura was so innocent.

Carmilla was different. New. Scary. Carmilla opened her eyes to the world around her, the real world where she could be open and happy and free.

It came at a price, as Laura's innocence was shattered, and he beat her to the very edge of her humility, but love does not come without sacrifice.

All that mattered was Laura's safety.

Carmilla told her father some words she'd never regret, beating him into oblivion and sending him to jail with the help of her mother.

He was gone from their lives, never to be seen again.

My, how much they've both grown since.

"Thank you," Carmilla murmured to the camera, "Old friends and new, thank you for joining us on our journey. It feels like it was just yesterday when Mattie came to us and suggested to be our manager for our YouTube channel. We were both anxious and scared, not wanting to post Laura's story online. But it turned out to be the best decision we've ever done. We love every one of our creampuffs, and I'm a little emotional this morning because last night we hit over two hundred  _thousand_  subscribers." She laughed tearfully, wiping her eyes, "I remember the days when we got excited because there was just a hundred of you."

Panther mewled happily beside her, purring.

"We've certainly come along way, haven't we?" She cooed to her cat, before turning to her homemade breakfast of blueberry pancakes, "Come on, let's take these to mommy."

On this day, if it fell on a Saturday instead of a Sunday when the parade normally took place, Laura would sit out on the patio for hours. She'd listen to a few books on Audible, or go out for a run and not come back until noon. She'd do anything to keep busy, keep herself energized, in fear of relapsing to that horrible state of mind. Carmilla always reminded Laura that it was okay to feel sad, that she could let her emotions run free, and Carmilla would be there to catch her.

Heaving a sigh, Carmilla shook her head. Laura was a fighter. The bravest person she'll ever know. The scars on her body only proved that to be true.

She heard a few sniffles come from the patio. Her heart rate quickened, as she quietly went out to assess the situation.

"Hey." Carmilla said quietly, placing the vlog camera on the coffee table.

"Hey." Came Laura's gentle voice, and her wife turned to smile at her. "Come here, Carm." Curiously, the raven-haired woman went to her aid, kneeling to meet her at eye-level. Laura beams and places Carmilla's hands on her swollen belly, patting her hands. "You came at the right time. I just felt one of them move."

Carmilla choked out a surprised noise, placing her ear on her belly as well to listen. It was a miracle that Laura was four months pregnant. And not only that, four months pregnant with  _twins._  They had spent a full year searching for the proper treatment center to begin their family, until Kirsch, a very good friend of theirs, happily agreed to be a sperm donor. The best thing about this decision was the babies would know their father. Kirsch's wife, Danny, didn't mind at all that they would be expecting again so soon after having their own child. She loved both Laura and Carmilla—they have all been with each other since the start of their YouTube career; close bonds have been formed that'll surely last a lifetime.

It was an adorable sight—Laura was tiny for her age barely reaching 5 foot 3 inches, so even carrying one baby would make her look big, but now that she's carrying twins, she can hardly see her toes.

"Hi babies, it's your mama," Carmilla barely managed, kissing Laura's bulge, "I love you both so very much. Have I told you that lately? You're my miracle babies. We're so proud of you both for being so brave." She felt another flutter against her hand.

"I love it how when you speak to our babies you turn into mush," Laura giggles, wiping her eyes, "As if you weren't so sappy already. My big grumpy cat."

"Oh, shush," Carmilla grew a raspberry, "Don't rat me out. I have a reputation to uphold, you know."

Laura rolled her eyes, "Newsflash Carm, I saw right through your punk and rock and roll get up the moment we met, same how you saw through my poor, poor attempt at trying to be straight."

"… touché." She grumbled, still having her head resting against Laura's belly.

"I've been thinking about names," Laura eased, starting to pick at her breakfast. "I played around with my middle name and I've decided on Ellia, if one of them is a girl."

"Ellia. Ellia Karnstein-Hollis." Carmilla smiles, "What do you think, baby?" She coos, and felt a flutter. She beamed at Laura, "She likes it."

"And for a boy, I like Miles. Or Cosmo, which means universe in astrology."

"Miles Cosmo Karnstein-Hollis," Carmilla furrowed her brow in thought, "What if they're both girls?"

"I-I've… always wanted to be named Mackenzie. It was a weird quirk of mine. Maybe in a different universe I was." She mumbled thoughtfully.

"Mackenzie and Ellia Karnstein-Hollis," Carmilla beamed, and she felt new flutters at the sound of those names, "Ooh, baby, they love it! Even if we have a boy, Mackenzie's still a neutral name. We'll stick with it."

"This is so exciting," Laura says with a laugh, rubbing her stomach. She sighed in content. "All my life, I never thought I'd be here. It's… it's still hard to believe that I've been so blessed. These past seven years of my life have been… heaven on earth. And I have no one else to thank but you, Carm."

Carmilla stared at her for a moment, tears welling in her eyes. Whenever Laura talked like that, said how grateful she was for her love, it was emotional for them both. Because every word was laced with truth. To Laura, she's only been alive for seven years—the other nineteen years of her life was nothing but a false memory, clouded in misery and pain.

Nineteen years her world was dull and gray.

Nineteen years she was beaten, spat upon, ostracized.

Nineteen years of complete and utter hell.

Not anymore. In Carmilla's arms, Laura was safe. Loved. Reminded every day that she is beautiful. Valid. Pure.

She was worth fighting for.

At 26 years old, Laura was only just beginning to learn about life. Carmilla vowed to be with her every step of the way.

"That's all been you, creampuff," Carmilla said, her voice thick with emotion. "All I've done is cheer you on from the sidelines."

"You're my wife, Carmilla," Laura says with a sniffle, "My best friend. My soulmate. The mother to our babies," She places a hand on her belly, "Every milestone I've accomplished falls on your shoulders as well. We celebrate everything together." The tears were beginning to pour like waterfalls now, "Y-you had every reason to abandon me, leave me for dead that night. We were broken and afraid. Young and naïve to the horrors of the world. When I was suffering, you didn't flinch away from me, o-or lose your patience. When I was lost, you found me. I wouldn't be where I am in life today had it not been for you. So, stop being an idiot and looking down on yourself for my sake!"

Carmilla chuckled weakly, pulling her wife in for a loving kiss. "Alright, dear. I love you."

"I love you too, Carmilla. More than words can comprehend."

She sputtered, "Well, I love you more than there are stars in the sky!"

"Ugh. Must you always go for the dramatics?" She teased good-naturedly. They always did this—remind each other how much they care. They could go on for hours.

"What? I speak the truth. I'll never stop loving you."

"Good. Because I plan on sticking around for a while."

"Thank god, that'd be better for my sake rather than yours." Carmilla laughs, giving her another kiss.

Laura smiled at her, squeezing her hand and taking another bite of her breakfast. They hung out on the terrace for a while, mostly in silence, enjoying the view until they had to get ready for the Pride parade.

Carmilla's head never left Laura's belly.

* * *

 

 **March 10** **th** **, 2015**

Their first video wasn't one hundred percent quality content. Though, it was one that Carmilla held dear to her heart, and she refused to ever take it down. Even with the shaky camera angles and poor editing.

It was Mattie who had eventually convinced them the night before.

"I think you should do it." Carmilla anxiously stared at her sister, "Post a video."

"I—but—Mattie—,"

"No, listen to me, Carm," The older woman chastised, "It'll be good for you both. Creating a channel will help you two bond and Laura will become more confident in herself."

"She's terrified to even leave the bedroom, Matska." Carmilla said with remorse. "How am I going to convince her to show her face online? Now, with all the bruises she has on her skin?"

Mattie narrowed her eyes, "If you don't do it, I'll never let you live this down. You're missing out on an opportunity here, Carm. Look at your situation idealistically. You're both college-dropouts. No friends. No money coming in besides mine. The only person Laura knows is her therapist that comes in. How long are you going to live like this until you break?"

Carmilla was silent. Emotions were still raw as it has been almost a year when the incident happened. They were getting by, but barely.

"Please, Carmilla," Mattie was pleading now, tears welling in her eyes, "I know I wasn't the nicest person to Laura when we first met, and I regret everything I ever said to her. She wasn't being rude or inconsiderate, she was… innocent. She didn't know any better. And now this happens? I'd never… I'd never wish this kind of treatment upon my worst enemy. Consider this as an apology gift—I'll help maintain your channel. Keep track of subscribers. Create your website. All you two need to do is post videos."

Carmilla smiled weakly, squeezing her sister's hand, "Alright, Mattie… alright. I'll talk to her about it."

Laura was scared to even be in the video in the first place.

"Laura baby," She cooed softly, gently knocking on the door of the closet, "C'mon. Everything will be okay."

"C-Carm… I'm so scared…"

"Hey, hey, I know. But this will be good for us. We need to have an outlet to express ourselves during this time." A thought came into her mind, and she smiled, "I promise that if you make this vlog with me, we can watch the Harry Potter movies after wards."

"R-really?" She asks, sniffling.

"Have I ever lied to you before?" Carmilla asks her, and she sighed. Carmilla turned to the camera, "She's a bit camera shy. Give her a moment."

It was a second later she finally stepped out of the closet, taking their hands together and leaning herself against Carmilla's shoulder. "Hey." She cooed, giving her a peck on the nose.

"Hey."

"I love you." The raven-haired woman murmurs, rubbing noses with her.

"I love you more."

Carmilla's heart swelled with love as she smiled, though happiness didn't reach her eyes. Laura then took a deep breath and sat down next to her, nervously fiddling with her hands. She wore a longer sweater to cover up her bruises, because she didn't want to show them online. She even put foundation on her injury on her face, which was yellowing by now. Carmilla was sensitive to her injuries, but she supposed their viewers wouldn't be.

"Well, go on. Introduce yourself, cutie." Carmilla urges, a nervous feeling fluttering in her stomach.

"O-oh! Right. Um. Hello, gentle viewers. M-my name is Laura. I am twenty-one years old. I…uh… I'm not attending college right now, but who knows what the future will hold for me. A-and… I like… ranting about Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and Game of Thrones. Like. All day. Th-there's nothing interesting about me, really. I'm just a big nerd."

"I beg to differ," I chuckle, leaning my head against her shoulders, "Did you know that she can recite the entire Bohemian Rhapsody  _backwards_?"

"Carm!" She shrieks, turning red. "I was bored one day and hyped up on sugar…"

"Still. It was such a turn on for me," Carmilla says, grinning slyly at her.

Laura rolled her eyes, and finally looked directly into the camera, "And this lady killer here just so happens to be my… girlfriend. We're girlfriends, right?"

Carmilla's mouth gaped open, "You're confirming this  _now_? I guess… I didn't exactly make that clear…" She shook her head, "Yes, my love. Of course, we're girlfriends."

"Yay!" Laura exclaimed, clapping excitedly. She smiled at her.

"We were separated for a year due to some… um… family issues. Not everything is settled, but, we've decided that we're better off traveling this journey together. I was a complete mess without you." She murmured softly, and Laura had a forgiving look in her eyes. "My name is Carmilla. Um, I suppose the best way to describe me is that I am made of sarcasm and homosexuality."

"Carmilla!" Laura was laughing now, cheeks red and shoving her playfully. "There's so much more to you! You're incredibly smart, and… and your passion for music is incredible! Honestly, she's such an amazing singer. I can't wait until you gentle viewers hear her."

"Ooh, you can't wait? So, this will become a regular thing?" She husks, smirking.

"We will see," She mumbled, shying away. "This would be a lot easier if we had a script. Y'know, for prosperity."

"Prosperity doesn't care," Carmilla drawled, "I should know. I live in it."

Laura leaned in, before catching herself, and turned to the camera, "A-anyways, our channel will mostly be focused on LGBT plus things, supporting the community and giving you all advice that we hope will be helpful. Um… Carm's been out for half her life and I've been in the closet for most of it, so… heh… she'll be more informed with pride events to go to. We will be doing a few skits, and challenges if you guys suggest it. Who knows where this new life will take us, but for now, this has been Hollstein, in a nutshell."

"See you soon, guys, gals, and non-binary pals." Carmilla chimes happily, placing a loving kiss on Laura's cheek.

She clicked off the camera, staring at her beloved Laura with a proud smile on her face. She let out a shuddering, nervous breath before laughing, and flung they hugged each other. "Th-that was so. Much. Fun!"

"You were fabulous, darling," Carmilla coos, "I'll edit the first video and give you some time to rest, okay?"

"I love you." She sighs, snuggling up close to her.

"As I love you. Now, go on and take your pills. I'll meet you in bed." She smiles at her girlfriend, giving her a kiss as she scurried off. Carmilla gazes at her happily and started to work. She decided to name the video:  _YouTube and This New Life with You._

And as the saying goes, the rest was history.

* * *

**March 25** **th** **, 2015**

It wasn't a dramatic change for both girls; the transition into the YouTube life was gradual. In the beginning, everyone struggled with getting views and putting themselves out there. Success didn't appear overnight. They were lucky they had Carmilla's sister, Mattie, supporting them and giving them knowledge on how to run a channel on the platform.

It was when their fanbase started to grow that Carmilla fully realized the impact they were making in the LGBT community. As well as her relationship with Laura improved after posting one important video.

Carmilla was nervous. She's recorded herself singing before but she's never posted anything online—ever since she was a child she had horrible stage fright. It was a fear she never had the chance to overcome. With some encouragement from her beloved, she finally mustered up the courage.

"Hey." Laura cooed. "Are you sure you don't want me to be in here?"

"No, no… I… need to face my insecurities." Carmilla sighs, nervously gripping her old keyboard. "You can come in when I'm done, okay love?"

"I don't think I've heard you sing since… since we first met," She says, rubbing her hand, "This'll be exciting. Oh! Tell me what song!"

"Hmm. No, it's a surprise. I like keeping you guessing."

"It better live up to expectation." Laura purrs, causing her girlfriend to smirk.

"You know that's what I do best, darling." She giggled and placed a gentle kiss onto her lips before hurrying out of their bedroom.

Carmilla took a deep breath, anxiety bubbling in her stomach as I pressed record. "Phew! Hey, gentle viewers! So, this will be a bit of a different video for you today. Um, since it's Friday, I promised to start uploading covers of me singing so… um… here we are. Fun fact, I have never sung for anyone else besides Lau and my family, so… this can either be good or a complete train wreck," Carmilla trails off with nervous laughter, "Please bear with me. I'm not the greatest with expressing myself through words and I use sarcasm as a defense mechanism." She starts doing awkward clapping with my hands, "So. Um. Uh—I decided to sing  _All of Me_ , by John Legend because… it perfectly describes the relationship I have with Laura. We have been through some rough patches and struggles in both of our lives but our love for one another pulls though each obstacle. So, my beloved cupcake, this one is dedicated to you."

She tooks a deep breath, and played the first few notes on the piano.

And then the memories come flooding in.

**_What would I do without your smart mouth?_ **  
**_Drawing me in, and you kicking me out_ **  
**_You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down_ **  
**_What's going on in that beautiful mind_ **  
**_I'm on your magical mystery ride_ **  
**_And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright_ **

" _Um. Excuse me, who the hell are you?" She growled at her, wincing as Carmilla just barged into the room._

" _Carmilla. I'm your new roommate, sweetheart."_

**_My head is under water_ **

**_But I'm breathing fine_ **

**_You're crazy and I'm out of my mind_ **

" _Hey… um, listen, we got off at the wrong start. I didn't mean to spill that all over you. D-do you think we can be friends?"_

" _No. Because I'm sick and tired of you following me around like a lost puppy. The sooner you stop being Lois Lane, the better off you'll be."_

**_'Cause all of me_ **

**_Loves all of you_ **

**_Love your curves and all your edges_ **

**_All your perfect imperfections_ **

**_Give your all to me_ **

**_I'll give my all to you_ **

**_You're my end and my beginning_ **

**_Even when I lose I'm winning_ **

**_'Cause I give you all of me_ **

**_And you give me all of you, oh, oh_ **

" _The prissy, goody-two shoes Laura Hollis is at a Summer party? What kind of universe is this?"_

" _Oh, please. Can't I go for one day without you nit-picking at my life?"_

" _Well I would if you would stop following me."_

" _I—I'm not following you! We just happen to be at the same place at the same time!"_

**_How many times do I have to tell you_ **

**_Even when you're crying you're beautiful too_ **

**_The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood_ **

**_You're my downfall, you're my muse_ **

**_My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues_ **

**_I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you_ **

" _No matter how far away from him I get… he's still got his claws latched onto me. It's like I'm never going to grow up. He just… just… monitors me, every waking second of the day and I'm sick of it."_

" _Why don't you tell him that? You know, stand up for yourself."_

" _I can't. Because no matter what I say, I'll always be his precious little girl."_

_**My head is under water** _

_**But I'm breathing fine** _

_**You're crazy and I'm out of my mind** _

" _Carm… I… I have something to tell you. It's, really important."_

" _Yeah? What is it, cupcake?"_

" _I think I might be gay."_

**_'Cause all of me_ **

**_Loves all of you_ **

**_Love your curves and all your edges_ **

**_All your perfect imperfections_ **

**_Give your all to me_ **

**_I'll give my all to you_ **

**_You're my end and my beginning_ **

**_Even when I lose I'm winning_ **

**_'Cause I give you all of me_ **

**_And you give me all of you, oh, oh_ **

" _Shit, sweetheart, what gave you that idea?"_

" _You. I… I realized my identity because of you. And hell… I'm so scared."_

_**Give me all of you** _

_**Cards on the table, we're both showing hearts** _

_**Risking it all, though it's hard** _

" _But not only that… I think I'm also in love with you."_

" _Fucking hell. You have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to tell me that."_

" _Why?"_

" _Because I'm hella gay and I'm in love with you too."_

**_'Cause all of me_ **

**_Loves all of you_ **

**_Love your curves and all your edges_ **

**_All your perfect imperfections_ **

**_Give your all to me_ **

**_I'll give my all to you_ **

**_You're my end and my beginning_ **

**_Even when I lose I'm winning_ **

**_'Cause I give you all of me_ **

**_And you give me all of you_ **

" _Carm! Carm, I know you probably hate me, but I'm so fucking terrified right now I need you—I—I can't do this anymore. He's gone ballistic, and he's been physically hurting me all night—please, Carm, I need you. Where are you? Please rescue me!"_

" _Shit—Laura—Laura! I'm coming! I'm coming now! I'm calling 911!"_

Carmilla takes a shuddering breath at that last memory, her throat tightening, tears streaming down her face. She stops for a moment. She turned around to see her beloved standing in the doorway. She didn't know how long she was there for, but she had tears streaming down her cheeks too. Carmilla sang the last verse directly to her.

**_I give you all of me_ **

**_And you give me all of you, oh, oh_ **

She was sobbing at full force now, as Carmilla stood up to embrace her. We held each other for a long moment, soaking in each other's love. "Carmilla, that was… I can't even formulate words to describe how beautiful that was."

"You're telling me." She laughs tearfully, giving her a kiss. "It was dedicated to you."

"Have I ever told you how lucky I am that you're in my life?" She sniffed, wiping her eyes.

"Many times, my love." Carmilla chuckled.

"No, I mean have I really?" She asks, running a hand through her hair.

"Just seeing you every day, alive and happy is more than enough for me. You don't owe me anything, dearest." Carmilla knew she was going to say something more, so she went over to the camera, "See you soon guys, gals, and non-binary pals. This has been Hollstein, in a nutshell. And thanks for watching."

* * *

 

**May 20** **th** **, 2015**

They had their weak moments, though. Days when the sun just wouldn't come out and they were both at war with one another. Laura's PTSD sometimes became overwhelming for them both. They both said things they regretted. They were just grateful they had friends with them at the time to pull them through this.

Lafontaine, Perry, Danny, and Kirsch were all sitting in the Hollstein apartment preparing to shoot for a collaboration video. Laura was presumably still asleep.

Carmilla was the first to hear it. She's gotten used to the sounds, the onset of her panic attacks. What was the difference. It was as if she's developed a sixth sense, training her ears to detect whenever Laura was in pain.

It started out quiet, like they usually do. Carmilla's fingers gripped the pen she was holding so hard they turned white. Lafontaine gazed at her in worry, breaking mid-conversation.

Everyone was quiet, waiting with anxious breath.

Then came the screaming. Devastating, loud wails came out of her, and she could just picture her beloved writhing in bed, scared beyond measure. In this phase, she can't tell the difference between reality and fiction.

The seconds that passed on were agonizing. Carmilla glanced across the room at her group of friends, who each had different expressions on their faces. Lafontaine's was a blank slate, Perry looked on in sympathy, Kirsch was biting his lip, unsure of what to think, and Danny's eyes flickered from her to the doorframe of their bedroom, tears glistening in her eyes.

"Y-you… hear that… every day?" She whimpered, slumping in her chair.

"Some days are worse than others." Carmilla mumbles, twitching her fingers.

_Laura, Laura, Laura…_

Then, as quickly as her attack came, it stopped. There was a sob. Carmilla heard her rolling out of bed. She took thirty minutes to get ready, she counted the digital clock just above our oven. When she finally revealed herself, her hair was a mess, her clothes disheveled, and her tired eyes gave everything away.

 _My poor angel_ , Carmilla thought desperately.  _She's had her wings clipped from her. It's too cold for her to fly right now._

_But mark my words, one day, she will._

She didn't reach out for Carmilla, as she slumped into the kitchen, head cast downward. She fumbled to make herself tea, dropping the bags onto the countertop and blindly reached for one. When she reached the cubby just above her, the world seemed to move in slow motion. The mug she decided to choose was attached to another cup, and the second she pulled, they both came crashing down to the floor. She let out a terrified scream at the noise, triggered no doubt, as she winced at the sight of blood on her hands.

"Lafontaine, get the first aid kit,  _now._ " Carmilla hissed, reaching out to be with Laura. They nodded and hurried out of the kitchen. "Perry, help clean up." She quickly grasped the broom. "Kirsch, just get out of here for now, okay?" Carmilla begs, feeling guilty as the boy slumped his shoulders and hurried out of the kitchen.

"D- _Don't touch me_!" She screeched, "Stay. Away. From. Me."

Carmilla opened her mouth to speak, though words failed. She weakly looked at Danny for help, who came up behind her and extended her arm in an act of peace.

"Laura. Sweetie. We're all here to help you. Please work with us." She began, keeping a safe distance from Laura. "You're safe now. Who are you? Can you tell me where you are?"

"My name is Laura Hollis. I am twenty-two years old. I-I live on 40th Street in Manhattan, New York. I live on the third floor, apartment 307. I have been living here for the past nine months." She breaths, breaking apart her hands. Droplets of blood splattered on her shirt.

"Good, good. Things are different, now, see? You're in a better place, love. You have a beautiful fiancé who loves you very much. What's her name?"

"C-Carmilla. Carmilla Karnstein. She's twenty-one years of age." She manages, and her eyes train themselves on her. "She was a philosophy major b-before we dropped out of college."

Lafontaine came back with the first aid kit, handing the bandages over to Danny. Perry had cleaned up the mess, stuffing the remains in the trash. "I'm going to clean you up, now, is that okay? Can I touch you?"

Laura whimpered as she extended her shaking hands, and Carmilla leaned against the refrigerator. She glanced at Kirsch, who had a sour look on his face on the living room couch. Laura was crying, though she was no longer upset about her attack. She was upset for herself, that she can't function normally on her own anymore.

She squeaked out Carmilla's name, and she came to her, rubbing her knuckles gently and kissing the pain away. "I-I'm trying, Carm… y-you know I'm trying, e-every day I'm trying…"

"I know, baby," She sighs, rubbing her back, "And you're so brave. I love you so much."

"S-some d-d-days I tell myself that l-life would have been s-so much easier if I n-never met you." She whimpered, and her heart broke.

 _Fuck._ That one stung. Normally she'd take these comments with a grain of salt, but not today.

" _Are you fucking kidding me_?" Carmilla snaps, angry tears pouring down her face.

"Carmilla… honey…" Perry gave her a warning glance.

"No, fucking stop. I do everything in this godforsaken relationship for you. I cook. I clean. I take care of you. Since day one I've dropped my entire fucking school career for your safety, and this is how you thank me?"

Laura winced at how Carmilla's voice rose. "C-carm… baby, I-I didn't mean—,"

"Then what do you fucking mean? You walk all over me some days and expect forgiveness because, fuck, I'd do anything for you. But for the past few months, I've been pulling all the weight in this relationship, and I ask for nothing in return. Just your happiness. However, right now, you can't give me that because you don't even know how to feel happy. So, as far as I'm concerned, this is not how a healthy relationship is supposed to be. Every damn day, Laura, I'm breaking. My resolve is cracking and there's only so much I can do when you don't put in half the effort I am!"

"Carm, why didn't you tell me any of this?" Laura worried, reaching out to touch her. Carmilla shied away.

"Because somehow I got it into my head that your health was more important than mine. Because I'm an idiot and I decided to get myself into a situation that was over my head. Because I love you but sometimes, this is too much for me and I realize now that I can't hide my emotions anymore for your sake. Y-you're not yourself, baby, even on days when you smile and you try to be. But we… we don't know each other. I wake up some days and I don't even know myself."

There was a long, tense silence that consumed them. Worries and concerns were spilling out of her now, like a waterfall, and she trusted her with them. She couldn't stop.

"Do you regret anything?" Laura asks, her voice small and quivering. "Do you regret meeting me? Do you regret loving me?"

"No. God, no, Laura, because I can't imagine my life without you in it. My only regret is that I wish I realized sooner that I can't do this on my own. That we need  _help_. That your pain would slowly seep into mine, and we'd become one entity. The reason that I don't know myself is because of my unquestioning devotion to you. Th-there's only so much I-I can do, and I'm afraid I've exhausted every drive I have left at this point." Carmilla choked back a sob, taking a step closer to her and wrapping her arms around her waist.

"Know that not a day goes by where I miss your true laugh. Your smile. Your innate need to brighten anyone's day. I've done everything I could to remind you of how you once were. But now we need to focus on finding our new selves, cupcake, instead of aiming for our pasts. I'm scared as hell, Laura, but there comes a time in your life where one needs to re-evaluate everything. And this is where I need your help."

"I'll do anything for you, Carm."

"Then do me a favor. Become your own friend. Fake it until you make it. Tell yourself every day that you're beautiful, that life is wonderful, that you're living the dream. Tell yourself how much progress you're making, how much you've grown. Because the more you think that, the more your actions emulate it. This way I can learn how to love myself in the process."

"And someday soon, we'll learn how to love each other again." She finishes, tracing my thumb underneath her eye, wiping the tears clean.

"S-somedays I feel like I'm a burden to you," She finally admits, shaking her head, "Somedays when I can't bring myself out of it… I worry y-you'll just up and leave me… and I won't have anyone in my life." She sniffs, a grimace forming on her face, "Y-you're right. I'm losing myself too, a-and the more I deny it, the more the demons take over. I-I'm scared, Carm. I'm so close to recovery, b-but the more I think about it, the more I realize how much more I need to grow on my own. I… I need to learn how to be  _independent_  again. There's only so much we can do to love each other, but we've been feeding off each other like a parasite. A-and that just isn't healthy."

"Oh, God, I'm so glad you feel the same way as I do. Now we're one step closer to solving the problem. Know that I'm not doing any of this to spite. I want to love you, to be with you, but the both of us need to change." Carmilla replied. "Our hearts are slowly repairing themselves right now."

"I'm going to be strong for you one day, Carmilla. I'm going to be strong and I'm going to pick myself up off my feet, so you wouldn't have to worry."

"Seeing you alive every day is more than enough for me." She claims.

"Carmilla," Laura began, shifting her feet. "I think I'm ready. Th-the next step would be… to talk about this on our channel. I-it'll be the ultimate test of trust between you, me, and our viewers. A-and our first step on the road to recovery. W-we'll only post about it if you're up for doing it as well."

"Only if you're confident about this, love. Whatever it takes." I assure her, giving her a peck on the lips. They tasted salty with our tears.

There was a sniffle, as we realized we still had an audience, and Perry clasped her hands together. "Right. Well. Let's get on with making that video for this afternoon, shall we?"

They decided to disregard any original video ideas they've had planned. An intervention was needed immediately, and thier friends were more than ready to help. She held onto the gruesome images of Laura's bruises for safekeeping, to reveal them later in the video. They decided to all sit comfortably in their living room, Laura and Carmilla cuddled together on the couch (she changed into a cleaner pair of pajamas, her hand covered in gauze, and was wrapped in a giant fuzzy blanket) while Kirsch and Danny sat to the side of the camera, out of sight, with Perry and Lafontaine sitting cross-legged on the floor.

Before the video uploaded, Carmilla made sure to show this disclaimer:

_Dearest gentle-viewers,_

_This video will contain graphic images and mentions of domestic abuse. Viewer discretion is advised as we are aware we have young creampuffs supporting us. We have never talked fully about Laura's condition on this channel, but due to recent events and her current mental state, we've decided to have an intervention. You'll notice that she's very tired and sad in this video, because she recently had a panic attack this morning, so her emotions are still raw. We are eternally blessed and grateful for all your support. Please watch until the end._

_Best regards,_

_Carmilla (the other half of Hollstein)_

"And we are all set! I've got my notes, the photos… I've got my fiancee… am I forgetting anything else?" Carmilla mused, pretending to look around her.

Lafontaine snickers, "Your sanity?" They ask, causing Perry to slap them on the shoulder.

"Eh. I've stopped looking for that a long time ago." I laugh, looking at the camera. "Good morning guys, gals, and non-binary pals! This is officially our one hundredth video posted on our channel!" She's earned a tired giggle out of Laura, when she began to make a ridiculous drumming notion with her hands. Carmilla made a mental note to edit the cheering sound effect later with that small victory. "We originally had planned a stream of consciousness video for you all, since it's Wednesday, but due to recent developments, we've decided to scrap that idea completely. On our channel, we try to be inclusive and help you guys with all forms of disabilities and daily struggles that you folks go through. And we are grateful that you trust us with your problems, so in turn, we know you'll do the same for us. We've sent out helplines and social groups to get you all together to talk openly about your struggles." Carmilla took a deep breath, feeling Laura's hand grasp hers, "One thing that has… stayed with me greatly throughout this journey is that you creampuffs are very intuitive. From the very first video you could spot that something was wrong with Laura, with the… false persona that we tried to put up for you. And I think that now since we've come so far, it's only fair that we openly discuss what our struggles have been since day one for your sakes. You people are our family and we can't thank you enough. Three months ago, we didn't think we had a future."

"There were days when I would just… wake up and repeatedly wish for death to take me. I hated life. I hated my body. I hated the condition that I found myself in. The events that led me up to that point, and… if there is one thing that I take away from my experiences is that having a mental illness like mine, it not only affects you," Laura started, shaking her head and looking at the camera, "It affects your partner and the ones you love. Carmilla was doing all that she could to keep me from hurting myself, even though she was suffering inside. While I was hurting with physical pain, seeing me in that state was slowly killing her, and I didn't even realize it. We're no-where near perfect yet, but, I can't believe I didn't recognize it until now how much my actions influenced her." Danny walked into the camera view, handing Laura her favorite TARDIS mug filled with hot-chocolate. "We have a live studio audience today, by the way. Danny and Kirsch from their channel,  _Pink Versus Blue_ , and Lafontaine and Perry from  _Here and Queer_. They're here for emotional support." She cheered, wiping her eyes which was already forming with tears.

"I think before we go any further, we should explain… how you both got into this position in the first place. The full story—starting from when you first met." Danny suggests, patting Laura on the knee before going to sit beside Kirsch.

"That would help a lot," Laura nods, heaving a deep breath. She takes a long sip from her hot cocoa, and Carmilla took a piece of hair from her eyes. Her other hand squeezed her thigh. "Well, okay. Here goes. I grew up in a sheltered household, so I didn't exactly know what to do or how to interact with other humans properly. Let's just say I was a bit of a social dunce. I-I kind of grew up believing I had Avoidant Personality Disorder. I was nineteen when I started freshman year because… hum… my sperm donor wanted me to take senior year again. Overprotective helicopter parent. He wanted to hold onto my wings for a little bit longer until I spread them completely. But what good would that have done is if even though I had a dorm-room there, I had to commute an hour every other weekend back home? The car wasn't even mine, it was a hand-me-down, and sounded like your Great-Aunt Denise taking a smoke of her cigarette when it drove. Real attractive." She said, chuckling weakly. "And one important fact you should know about me is that up until four years ago, I was very homophobic. I was raised in a household that… hated the gay community, because  _that man_  was more focused on cleansing the world of sin and protecting his only daughter from every evil in the world. So, due to his teachings, I became blind-sighted and rude to any view I saw that was different and strange. I would spout things that weren't even true, and I wish I could take back my silver tongue because I got into some awkward arguments. Little did we both know that the joke was on us— _I'm gay as fuck_." She sneers playfully, waving her arms around. Perry and Lafontaine chuckled knowingly.

"So, what helped change your view? How did you go from nay to gay?" Laf asks, giving her a curious smile.

Laura raised an eyebrow and pointed at Carmilla, cueing them all in knowing laughter. "This bitch. I was so sexually confused my freshman year of college because for the first time I felt my heart race the same way for a girl as it used to do for my childhood crushes. I was scared and anxious as to what was going on with my body and why it was reacting this way. It wasn't love or lust at first sight but more like… 'whoa, you're a chick, and why is my heart racing so fast and why do I feel funny around you?'."

Perry glanced at me, "Did you know right off the bat that Laura was a lesbian?"

Carmilla squeezed Laura's shoulder when she giggled bashfully, "It was like you took a neon sign and hung it over her head. I've had years to prefect my gaydar and in my head I was just like… 'well, shit. This girl is either going to kill me, or kill us both'. It wasn't how you were dressed, baby, it was more of your mannerisms and the way you behaved. You looked so out of place. I think I was just surprised by the fact that I felt such a strong connection to you that day when I bumped into you."

Laura raised her eyebrows at me, giggling, "Are you kidding? Because that's not what happened."

"Whoa. Okay—two sides of the story. Laura, tell your view on the first encounter." Lafontaine snickered.

"I had accidentally tripped on a plastic cup lying around and spilled my soda all your leather jacket. And then suddenly you're screaming at me because it was your favorite leather jacket and that I've already ruined your life just by breathing in the same air. It was bad enough that we were roommates." She scoffs, throwing everyone in a laughing fit.

Carmilla rolled my eyes and blushed, "Yes. Well. Hum. I was a bit of an asshole back then."

"So, I'm guessing from then on, the two of you hated each other." Perry supplied.

"For like, most the winter semester. We were two completely different people then, unable to find common ground, too stubborn to make amends. I literally had to put police tape in the middle of the room to separate us both." She sighed, remembering those younger times, "I think it was more of a battle of wills and ideals than anything else. Our morals and ethics were so different we were blind to see each other as a human being. I had trouble understanding why she identified as a lesbian, while Carm was miffed when I used to believe in a God that didn't exist. The tutoring helped, though, because it forced us to be in close proximities with one another and I had an excuse to stay on campus on the weekends. I was failing in math and I was terrified to bring my report card home."

"How did you become friends? What prompted that change?" Kirsch asked now, having said nothing for most of the conversation. Carmilla smiled gratefully at him.

"It was when I ended my childhood long relationship with my best friend at the time (who will not be named) because I realized the guy she set me up with in high school was just to get him off her back. It was then I recognized that my infatuation with him was nothing more than an idealistic thought. We… had one of our massive fights about it and I came to Carmilla, crying about it. I realized then that aside from her, I had nobody to confide in. I just felt so alone in that moment that despite our differences, I allowed Carmilla to take care of me."

"Ever since then, we started to hang out more," She continued, resting my head against her shoulder, "It was the little things you did for me to make up for the things you've said that helped me fall for you. Walk me to class. Give me a hug. Tell me a funny joke. I was anxious and terrified about my growing crush on you because I knew you were in the closet, so I wanted you to figure out everything yourself."

"That explains why you were so moody then," Laura giggles, giving her a comforting peck on the cheek, "And what happens next is what I like to call the 'Oh Shit! I'm Gay!' moment. We were out shopping one fine spring afternoon when Carmilla decided to try on a new outfit. I was scrolling through the internet looking at funny cat pictures, when I came across one that perfectly explained Carmilla and mine's relationship. So, without bothering to ask, I hurried into her dressing room, not noticing that she was completely undressed. I took one look at her boobs and I was a goner."

Everyone chuckled at her reaction, as her cheeks turned a deep shade of red. Carmilla laughed.

"You should have seen the look on her face. I was worried the cupcake would have an orgasm with the sight of boobs for the first time. We didn't say anything after that—I didn't have the chance to. She just ran out of the dressing room, leaving me in a state of panic. We didn't talk to each other for at least a week afterwards."

"I've gotten better at being comfortable with nudity," Laura grinned sheepishly, reaching out to cup each of her breasts. "I love your boobs now."

Now it was Carmilla's turn to blush, as Lafontaine couldn't contain their laughter. They had fallen to the floor in a heap.

"With the way you moan my name every time I go down on you, that much is obvious." She snickered, and Kirsch's eyes grow as wide as saucers. He chokes on his drink, spilling most of it on the floor, while Danny whacked his shoulders. What an innocent cherub.

"Hurray for character development!" Laura cheers, releasing her hold on her fiancée, and cuddles up with the blanket again. She giggles in the direction of the camera.

Perry gave them a scathing glare, "Ladies, please, focus on the story. Now's not the time to be sidetracked."

Once their giggles subsided (Carmilla made a mental note to edit this part out), Danny asks them another scripted question. "When was your first kiss, and Laura, what was your reaction? Did this happen before or after… The Boob Incident?"

"This actually happened before The Boob Incident, which cued my strong reaction to her. My mind was racing in all sorts of directions and I had NO IDEA what to do. Our first kiss was at a party—I know, original, right? But Carmilla noticed that I was upset and she said I needed to loosen up a bit. We were playing Spin the Bottle with a bunch of girls. Put two and two together as to what followed next." She giggled, as Lafontaine's eyes grew wide.

"The bottle fell on Carmilla and she had to kiss you! Oh shit!" They laugh.

"Was that your first kiss?" Danny asks.

"No, actually. My first kiss was in middle school, with some loser guy I had a massive crush on. Though, Carmilla's didn't even compare to him."

"One a scale of one to ten, how good of a kisser was I?" Carmilla asked with great cheek.

"Eight point seven," She answered, and she pouted, "What? Carm, we were babies then. I was nineteen and you were eighteen. We had no idea what we were doing. We weren't as good as we are now back then."

"Glad to know I've gotten better," She chuckled, leaning in to give her a kiss.

"See? Now, that was a ten out of ten." Laura giggles, and Carmilla's girlfriend was slowly coming back. She saw the light in her eyes again and her heart fluttered.

"Her reaction to our first kiss was very like how she ghosted me at the sight of my boobs. She pushed me aside roughly, claiming that she was uncomfortable, and stormed out of the room. I wanted to make sure that she had at least made it to the car alright, but when we got into the parking lot, she slapped me in the face."

"Again. Homophobic tendencies. I really am sorry about that, I should have known better," She grumbles. "You didn't deserve that."

"I forgive you, love, how could you have known?" Carmilla coo, gently caressing her cheek. "Stop worrying yourself sick over a wrong judgement of character."

"You've definitely come a long way since then. Kudos to you, Laura—we're all so proud of you." Perry assures, and glances at her notes. "Okay. Here is where things start to take a different turn. Do you both want to take a break or should we keep going?"

"I'm fine. Really—I have Carmilla with me, and you guys. If something happens I know I can trust you with my life." She answered truthfully. There was a moment of silence that followed, all of them realizing the severity of the situation. What happens next could either make or break them. Laura squeezed her hands under the blankets.

"Good. Now that we have your consent, Laura, honey, when did things start going downhill at home?" Perry asks, fiddling with the papers.

Laura didn't answer right away. She grimaced, closing her eyes tight for a moment, before staring at me for a sense of comfort. "I wish I could say that it was the night I came out to the bastard, my junior year. April 10th, 2014. But he started manipulating me and emotionally triggering me long before then. It was beginning of my sophomore year when he refused to let me stay leave the house on weekends, wanting me to be home and take care of him. Our relationship was starting to strain because he'd slip into his old drinking patterns again. I never knew my mother, as she left when I was a baby, but when he was in his drunk gaze he would ask about her. I was scared when he hit me, not sure what was happening or how to stop it. I hid all my bruises from Carmilla, not wanting her to suspect anything. I wore sweatshirts and sweaters all the time, even in warm weather."

"Did you suspect anything odd from this behavior?" Lafontaine asks.

"God, no, and I wish I had sooner. I've never met the scum of the Earth, so I wouldn't have known shit." Carmilla muttered with regret, resting her head on Laura's shoulder, "You're doing great, baby."

Laura let out a shuddering breath, blinking away the tears that were forming in her eyes.

"So, when exactly did you two start dating? Let's begin there." Perry questions.

"Summer of sophomore year. It was July—and I was sweating bullets because it was so hot out. Carmilla was acting strange the whole day, I was worried she'd bail on me at any moment. Then she leaned in asked if it was okay to kiss me again. I then asked her if it was okay to be her girlfriend, and she said yes."

"From sophomore year to junior year, we dated for ten months. W-we… we didn't give each other a full year because of my idiocy." Carmilla mumbled sadly, "I was falling in love with her and I was scared, because I've never been in a long-term relationship. I had scars that I didn't want to burden her with. Plus, my reasoning was that she was closeted, and I wanted to show her off to the world. She was scared. She wasn't ready. I should have given you the respect that you deserved."

"Carmilla, I've long since forgiven you for that. Even though you broke my heart and I was upset for weeks afterward." She assures. "I came out to that bastard a few days after the break-up. I figured since I was sure of myself then, and of my sexuality, he deserved to know what was going on. But I should have known that it wasn't a safe place to come out. The… beatings became physically worse after that night."

"I wish I had known, damn it. I wish I'd…" Carmilla claims, her voice breaking. Tears begin to glisten in my eyes as she covered her face.

" _Carmilla Karnstein_." Laura said firmly, leaning over to clutch her shoulders. "Listen to me. We can't stop what happened. There's nothing we can do to make up for the stupid mistakes that we've done. Yes, I was put into a disgusting situation where I was silenced and you were absent. But coming out to my bastard of a father was  _my choice_. I don't regret saying that to him because in the end, it brought me closer to you. I learned how to fight for my rights as a human and become stronger because of it. If you had known anything of what was going on, there was nothing you could have done. I had to go through that journey by myself before I was brought to you. I realize the difference in realities. Here, in this new life with you, I am safe. I am loved. I am protected. Here, I do not feel suffocated or abused. Here, I am slowly learning how to love myself and to feel comfortable in my body. Here, in this new life, you are my shining star that has led me out of the darkness. And I know now that no matter what happens, you'll always be there to hold onto me. And one day, there will be a time where I am strong enough to do the same for you."

Carmilla's resolve broke. She hunched over the couch, tears streaming freely down her face as she soaked in her words, unable to formulate a response. Carmilla finally cried the tears she's been holding in since their first night, letting go, reveling in the fact that they've grown so much.

She hasn't cried this much in  _years._

"Oh, Carmilla," She soothes, wrapping her arms around her, "Let it out, baby. Don't hold anything back, now."

Carmilla allowed myself to showcase her emotions, gasping for breath, but her heart feeling lighter each time. Danny had paused the camera for a moment as they all took a break, Laura cradling Carmilla in her arms.

"I don't say it enough, Carmilla. I appreciate you and everything that you've done to rescue me. Our situation may be messed up, love, but we have each other and I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Now I know how much you mean to me," She gasped, wiping her eyes, "Phew. Okay—fuck. I'm a nostalgic idiot today." The tears wouldn't stop falling, "This is the first time we're talking about  _everything_ , from beginning to end, which I should have known would be harder than I thought."

"It's only going to get worse from here, which is why we're taking a break now. This honestly should have happened sooner, but… better late than never." She sighs, kissing her on the cheek and running a hand through her hair. Once Carmilla's cries turned to whimpers, and her heart began to beat at a normal pace, she sat upright and shook Laura's hands. "Hey."

"Hey."

"I love you, Carmilla." Carmilla's heart sang. She kissed her gently, holding onto her arms.

"I love you more than words can describe."

Danny looked between us, tears in her eyes as she weakly tried to compose herself. "Okay. Are we ready?"

"The real question is, are you?" Lafontaine asks, wiping their eyes. Perry chuckles at the two of them.

"I'll be fine. Let's get on with the intervention. We're at the final leg, here. And then we can all go out for ice cream, yeah?" She assures them, and they all let out sighs of relief. They've all collected ourselves moments after, Laura's arm now wrapped around Carmilla's shoulders, and her legs intertwined with hers under the covers. The camera started to record again.

"We are back. Is everyone still here? If you are, bless you, you're an adorable creampuff and we're so grateful for all your support," Carmilla laughed tearfully, resting her head against Laura's. "So. Where were we last?" She asked Perry, who quickly looked towards her notes.

"Laura," She began, clicking her tongue nervously, "What was his reaction when you came out? And what followed after?"

Laura sighed tiredly, closing her eyes as she rested her head against the couch. "He ignored me. I gave him a whole speech as to why I am gay, and as to why his views on MY community were wrong, but he refused to listen. He poured alcohol into his drink and asked me how I was doing in my classes. I should have expected this reaction, but… this was the man who raised me. Who loved me for my whole life. And he just…  _disses me_. I could have said anything else—that I was a smoker, that I did drugs, that I got into a gang, and he'd do anything to purge me clean of those sins, taking me to a therapist, talking me through it. But with this…  _nothing_. His silence was the worst answer any parent could give to their child. That night, he came barging into my room with a shoe and slapped me. Repeatedly—on the arms." She winces, causing everyone to gasp in horror.

"Now. I have to ask—is he the main reason why you're so afraid to be around men, or have you always shown an apprehension around the opposite sex?" Perry asks, reaching out to grasp her hand.

"No. I guess I've always been… uncomfortable. When I was little, I didn't know what to describe it, and I figured I'd grow out of it eventually. But in my heart of hearts, I knew that something was different—that I never felt comfortable around boys. They were all so… loud. And brash. And uncouth."

"Wh… what about me, bro?" Kirsch's voice was small, and he looked like a kicked puppy. Carmilla gave him a look of sympathy and thumbed Laura's hand.

"Oh, Kirsch," She said, breathing out a sigh, "You've been nothing but kind the first day we met, I realize that. And I'm so sorry that I've been distancing myself from you. My heart is telling me that you're okay, and I see the way you treat our friends with the utmost respect. I… I want to be your friend, baby, but every time I'm near you, my body reflexively pulls me away. Please don't take any of this personally."

"I… I don't, truly," He mumbles, wiping away his tears, "But you're such an amazing, kind hearted girl who deserves all the happiness in the world. I want to get to know the real you, and I know she's in there, somewhere. But just know that whenever you're ready, I'll meet you halfway, okay? I'll always be here for you as your epic dudescort."

"Dudescort?" Laura giggled, smiling kindly at him.

"Yea. It's my job as a bro to protect all the hotties from every evil. Whenever you need me, I'll come running to punch a dick." He assures, raising a hand to his heart. "If there's a hottie, we'll be on her. Scouts honor."

"What a guy." Danny chuffed, cheeks turning a light shade of pink.

"Thank you, Kirsch." She coos, more relaxed now.

"And now. Fast forward a few months. Carm and I have broken up, I'm stuck at home, and when you think this can't get any worse, it does. October 7th was the night I thought I was going to die."

"I think, in a way, we both did, creampuff," Carmilla sighs, rubbing her arm. Carmilla nods to Perry, as she started to take out the photos. "Are you okay?" She asks her, as her eyes widened.

"A-are… are those m-my…"

"Yes. Don't worry, baby, I won't show them to you. Just our audience," Laura whimpered, hiding her face under the covers anyway. "This was the ugliest bruise he gave her. On her right eye, he gave her a solid punch because she'd locked the door. Her hair is in patches because he started to pull at it." Carmilla's hands were shaking as Danny sniveled behind the camera, and Kirsch held her, his hands shaking with rage. "Second photo. She had multiple bruises on her arms from the nights where he would pinch at her skin. They were all yellowing by that night, but the police still had to take photos of it for evidence." Perry winced as she handed Carmilla the next one, "Third photo. Worst of them all—that bastard placed a hot iron against her stomach. It was red and burning for hours. She needed thirty-seven stitches."

"Fucking hell." Lafontaine muttered, grasping at their hair.

"Forth picture. Her back—the injuries scarred, but in a fit of rage, the bastard shoved her against a bookshelf the night before. Glass shards from a vase fell down her back and scraped her skin. The bastard just… fucking left her there." She hissed, tears glistening in her eyes.

"And… finally, in her escape route from that prison, her legs scraped against a sharp object on the windowsill. They were bruised for days. I panicked and thought she was cutting herself, but she got herself caught and fell on the fire escape. This was not his doing, but the police still needed confirmation about her bruises. I got Mama (Lilita Morgan) as our lawyer, bless her soul. She ruled the courtroom because she was furious as to what happened. The bastard was found not guilty even before the case was over." Laura cried softly underneath the blankets, as Carmilla felt her hands wrap around her waist for comfort.

Perry quickly took the pictures back, hiding them from Laura's view. She cooed softly at the sight of her beloved, and leaned over.

"Hey. Laura, honey, it's all over now. Show our gentle-viewers your beautiful face for a before-after shot." She cautiously peeked her head out, though didn't fully sit up the right way. Carmilla made sure to freeze the frame and put a ridiculous sound effect at her reaction. "There's my princess." Carmilla sighed, wiping a tear out of her eye.

"Carmilla," Perry says calmly, though her hands were shaking and Lafontaine came over to her to wrap their arms around her. "How did you find out that Laura was being abused by that wicked man?"

"She called me," She replied briskly, "In that moment, I was the only one she could trust. I was panicking for her sake all day, gaining this sixth sense that something was wrong. And I just… didn't think. My mind went on autopilot, and I told myself that if I saw that bastard abusing her, someone was going to die. I was so fucking ready to kill him. But… Laura's safety and health was much more important, and I got her out of there the second I could. I was… so…  _scared_ , that night. I was scared for the both of us. I've never loved anyone so much like I have with Laura, and in the back of my mind I told myself that if I lost her I'd never forgive myself. That's why I was determined to take care of her all those months. There was no stopping me," She let out a shuddering breath, and turned to the camera, "Now I know my purpose in life. My purpose is to save people from abusive homes and relationships. If I could rescue the love of my life, then there are countless more humans who need rescuing too. You are not alone. You are not at fault. If you or anyone you love is suffering through a similar situation like this, please speak up. Don't be like me and wait until the last minute. That night, when Laura was dragged in the emergency room and placed on the operating table, she died.  _Twice_. They had at least a dozen doctors in that room, trying to revive her. When my beloved finally opened her eyes for the first time, I knew there was no going back."

"For what it's worth, l-love, I'd die a thousand times if it meant I could be with you." Laura choked, tears falling freely down her face.

"Fuck, Laura," Carmilla whimpered, opening her arms so they were hugging each other fully, "And I'd walk through Hell and back just to hold you in my arms."

"Well, thank God for that. You're stuck with me now." She claims, snuggling her face in the crook of her neck.

"Good. Because after everything, I'm not ready to let you go." Carmilla assures, rubbing her back.

"Are we done?" Lafontaine asks bluntly, their eyes puffy from tears. They all laugh at them, and their friends join in on the hug. Laura and Carmilla cried with relief, that the words they have desperately tried to hide all those years were finally let out.

And ever since then, every journey they went through together was worth fighting for.

* * *

  **April 18** **th** **, 2022**

The happiest video they've ever uploaded, which had over a million views to this day, was when Laura found out she was having a baby. They struggled to conceive with multiple treatments until Kirsch swooped in to save the day, and they continued with an IVF treatment.

Laura was feeling very sick all morning, throwing up most of her breakfast and refusing to leave the bed. Carmilla wanted to stay in and take care of her, but she couldn't cancel making a video with Perry (it was the only date they were both apparently free and they had booked a month in advance, before all this baby drama started). So, since Perry and Lafontaine had no idea, she had no choice but to visit them and keep everything a secret. Carmilla was a nervous wreck by the time she got home, anxious to hear the news.

Laura didn't fare any better. She hung out with Mattie, Carmilla's adopted sister, who gave her motherly advice and allowed Laura to cry on her shoulder even when they were in public. She went for emotional support because Laura didn't trust using a pregnancy test—she sent in blood and urine samples for the local hospital to examine, and she wouldn't know the results until later that evening.

"All this worrying isn't doing anything good for my belly at all," Laura grumbled, clutching her bulge with one hand and holding the camera in the other, "Ugh. What time is it?" She checked the clock on the wall, tears welling in her eyes when it only read 4:40 pm. "This is going to be a long evening." She mumbled to herself, and warning bells appeared in her mind as she felt bile rise in the back of her throat. She bolted over to the bathroom.

Laura struggled to keep her emotions in check, as she was often crying and feeling anxious. She ate the last of the Klondike bars in the fridge in one sitting, which didn't do so well in her favor towards the end.

Finally,  _finally,_ it came to be the time that she would receive the call, and Laura quickly hurried into their bedroom.

She placed the camera on the desk in front of her, taking a deep breath. "Today has been such a crazy day. Phew. Okay, where do I start?" She smiles weakly, "Just to get every creampuff caught up: Carm and I have been trying for a baby these past couple of months. We kept it on the down-low, at first… not to dishearten any of you or lead you on until we knew the results. I mean, you've probably already caught on with how we behaved in our normal videos on our main channel. But… this whole process has just been so hard, and we've been struggling to conceive, that I just… lost hope completely. It was hard on Carm because she never likes to see me in pain, it just… brings up old memories."

She shook her head, a fresh wave of tears coming down her face, "But I went… with Mattie today for bloodwork and I peed in a cup, so… I should be getting the results any moment now." Laura placed her hands on her face, "Oh, God… all morning, I've just been feeling so sick. Nothing tasted right. My stomach couldn't handle anything… if that's not a sign that I'm pregnant, then I don't know what is, but…" She couldn't stop the tears from falling, "I'm predicting the worst, so that way when the doctor calls, I'd be already a mess. But I honestly should stop predicting the worst—because a miracle is about to happen, and…" Laura wiped her eyes, "I need to give back to Carm for all those months she took care of me. If someone were to tell me then, that I'd be married to the most incredible woman in the whole wide world and be expecting a child seven years later, I'd repeat all of that heartbreak in a second."

She rubs her stomach gently, taking a moment to breathe, "I know we haven't met yet, but I love you so much. I love you—I really do. And you're going to grow up in a beautiful home with two mommies who love each other very much." Panther mewled, while Wisp their second Calico cat, decided to be a jerk and lay on her computer. "And we can't forget about your brother and sister, too."

Laura chuckled and tearfully smiled at the camera, "I just want to take this moment to thank everyone who's been with us on our journey. All your well wishes, and love… mean the world to us. You're our family, now. I decided to record my reaction to the results because you're such an important part of our lives."

She was finally able to calm down the seconds ticked on by. Then a loud, blaring sound from her cellphone came and she panicked, putting it on speaker. "Oh, my god. Oh, my god." She chanted, clasping it in her sweaty hands.  _Forget about being calm—now was a time for panicking._

"Hi? Is this Mrs. Karnstein-Hollis?"

"Y-yes, this is she." Laura replies, her heart pounding.

"Well, we've just gotten the results, and I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear them. Your blood and urine samples both came back  _positive_." Laura started to hyperventilate, dropping the phone to the ground. Panther shrieked and hopped off her lap. She clasped her head in her hands and tears poured freely down her face. "Congratulations, Mrs. Karnstein-Hollis, you're officially four weeks and six days pregnant. We're predicting the baby will be born, by December 10th, 2022. We would like for you and your wife to come in next Wednesday for a follow up appointment."

"I-I'm sorry, I got so nervous I dropped the phone," She got off the chair, picking it up, "Oh, my god," She gasps, repeatedly thanking the woman, "Oh, my god. Th-this… I can't…"

"You have a wonderful day now." She chuckled kindly.

"You too. You too." Laura repeats, the phone dropping onto the floor again as she got up, pacing in a circle. "Oh, my god… I'm pregnant… I'm  _pregnant_ …" She stops suddenly and just  _cries_. This, above all the moments she's been blessed with, is officially the happiest of her life. She no longer had to pinch herself to see if she's dreaming. Happily, Laura lifts her shirt to rub the growing bulge affectionately. "Oh, I love you so much already. Thank you. Thank you for being so brave." She gasped in delight, "We have to tell your mama."

It took several minutes to put together a little care package for Carmilla, as she hurried off to the nearby CVS to pick up a few special things.

A neutral colored binky. A card. A stuffed teddy bear. She even bought a pregnancy test just to use one (she refused to do so all cycle, but for this special case it was just for Carm's sake), and a tiny t-shirt that fit Panther saying, 'big sister'.

She had just gotten everything together when Carmilla called, "Hi, cutie."

"Hey."

"I'll be home in twenty minutes, I'm sorry I'm late I just got stuck in traffic. How… how are you?" Poor Carmilla—she sounded so distraught.

"I'm fine, darling. I'll see you soon."

"Okay. Love you."

Laura didn't say anything in reply, for she feared her resolve would break and the floodgates would open.

This time it felt like forever until Carmilla finally came back home, and she quickly scooped up Laura into a hug, "I've missed you like hell all day."

"Carmilla, sweetie," She cooed, "Filming a video with Perry was something outside of our control. We couldn't have known. Everything's fine."

"B-but I wanted to take care of you because you were feeling ill, and—," She sputtered out, tears glistening in her eyes. She buried her face into Laura's shoulder, "Some wife I am."

"Stop that, love. I need to show you something." She replies, gently taking her hand and then brought out the neatly decorated box.

"Laura—," Words failed her. With shaking hands, Carmilla opened the box with a startled gasp. She stared at each little gift. There, in her grasp, was a positive test. She let out an excited screech, "Y-you're pregnant!"

"I'm four weeks," Laura was beaming, tears glistening in her eyes, "I'm pregnant!"

Carmilla broke down in tears. She hugged Laura with all the strength she could muster, emotionally exhausted from the day's events, and kissed her passionately. "We're going to be a family, Laura. We're going to have a little baby."

"We did it, Carm. We did it—it's a miracle."

"I was so nervous on the way here. I-I actually didn't get stuck in traffic, I had a mental breakdown in the car for a good half hour," She sniffs, wiping her eyes, "All my emotions were a mess and I feared the worst."

"Aw, sweetheart," Laura giggled, and she kissed her. "Well I guess we were both worrying for nothing, then."

"I'm so proud of you," Carmilla said weakly, "You've come such a long way and I love you so much," She then moved to Laura's stomach, kissing it lovingly, "And I love you too. Thank you for being so brave and strong for your mommy."

Laura sighed with genuine relief. For the rest of the evening, they didn't move from the couch, just simply soaking in each other's love. It was a tender, raw moment for both women and one they'll certainly remember for the rest of their lives.

* * *

 

**June 26** **th** **, 2022**

"Babe," Laura said gently, squeezing Carmilla's hand, "Where do you keep going?"

"Huh?" Carmilla blinks, realizing that they were in their blue 2016 Subaru.

"You've just been sitting there staring out for the last twenty minutes." She giggled.

"Oh. Sorry. I'm just in a weird head space right now, cutie." 

"Do you want me to drive to the parade?"

"No, I'm fine… I was just thinking about things." Carmilla assured, giving Laura a kiss. She then turns on the radio, smiling widely as it coincidentally plays Lady Gaga's  _Born This Way._ She allowed the words to sink into her soul, feeling overwhelmed with every kind of emotion.

The tiny cupcake smiles and turns to the camera, "Woo! We are back and guess where we're off too!" She pauses for dramatic effect, as Carmilla chuckles and pulls out of the driveway, "PRIDE! We. Are. Going. To. TORONTO. PRIDE!" She laughed and did a ridiculous happy dance in her seat, "And this year's going to be very special because we partnered with  _Crest_ to be on a float! How freaking cool is that?!"

"It's so surreal," Carmilla muses, "All this time, when we were young and naïve to the ways of the world, we remembered viewing the parade from a distance. And now we can be in the parade, supporting a community that we owe our lives to and love? It's. Ugh. Damn it, I promised myself I wouldn't get emotional until we got there."

Laura giggled and slapped her wife's arm, "Honey, no cursing in front of the babies. That's a dollar for the swear jar."

"Lau, saying  _damn_  is tame compared to the things that fly out of my mouth on the daily."

Laura's eyes narrowed, "Remember the rule? No money donated equals no sex for a day."

Carmilla visibly paled, "You're wicked. Undeniably, unbelievably wicked. Creampuffs, I married a mad woman."

"Too late to regret anything now because you're stuck with me forever!" Laura cackled, stealing a kiss.

"There are worst places to be." She shrugs, smirking.

She gasped, growing silent for a tentative moment. Then they both giggled.

"Hey, Carm. It just kind of hit me again."

"What?"

" _I'M GAY!_ "

The raven-haired woman jumped in her seat. "Christ, Laura. Why'd you scream like that?"

"I don't know. Do you ever just… feel the overwhelming need to proclaim your lesbianism?"

"All the time." Carmilla deadpanned.

"I'm gay. I'm a homosexual. I'm a lesbian. I love the ladies—,"

"Oh. My. God. You are acting like such a baby dyke right now.  _Stop it._ PLEASE."

"Carm! I can't help it! We're going to pride! AS MY WIFE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO SUPPORT ME."

Carmilla warily turned to the camera, "She took her meds this morning, I swear."

Laura's mouth gaped open, "That was  _cruel_. You're such a… raging… b-baaaad person!"

"Takes one to know one, cupcake." Carmilla winks, making Laura roll her eyes.

"Anyways. Uh—we kind of got off topic. Where were we? Oh, yeah! The parade! We've gotten a few emails on twitter from our creampuffs saying that they'll be there, so don't hesitate to say hi! We love meeting fans! Depending on how I feel after the parade itself, we'll hang around."

"Tell them the other news, cutie."

"Oh! Guh—ever since I've started my second trimester I've become so forgetful. I'm glad you're always here to remind me about important things," Laura mumbles, squeezing Carmilla's hand, "We will both be preforming in the concert, doing slam poetry, telling our stories. Be sure to stick around for that!"

"It's going to be awesome. And hella gay."

"WE'RE SO GAY!"

Carmilla visibly flinched, "LAURA KARNSTEIN-HOLLIS! Scream one more time and I'll drive us both into a ditch!"

Laura cackled wildly.

They arrived at the pride parade a half hour later because they got stuck in traffic. There, they finally met up with the ginger squad, whom they haven't seen in a whole year.

"Frosh! It's so good to actually see you not in front of a computer screen!" Lafontaine exclaimed in an excited, garbled mess, "AH! Look at you! You're so adorable and pregnant!"

"Ooh, ooh, feel them, they're just starting to move around! It's the greatest thing ever!" Laura said with equal enthusiasm, hopping up and down. Carmilla took control of the camera this time, knowing that Laura would accidentally drop it.

Perry chuckled at their antics and turned to hug Carmilla, "It's good to see you again, dear. How have you both been?"

Carmilla smiled, "Hmm. No complaints. Life is good."

The curly-haired woman smiled wistfully, "You both have come a long way. I hope you know that I'm so proud of you, and the progress you've made."

She felt her chest tighten, remembering how Perry had seen them at their worst, "Not a day goes by where I ever take a moment for granted. Every time she smiles, every time she expresses her emotions in a positive light, it… it reminds me that miracles can happen in this world."

"You don't give yourself enough credit, dear. You've changed too," Perry chuckles, "Because of Laura, you've learned to love yourself and the world around you. And that's a beautiful thing. Remember what I told you, all those years ago?"

"It gets better."

"Right. It always gets better. Everything happens for a reason, and everything is temporary for a fleeting second. Then, like clockwork, good things start happening. Do you want to know why?" Carmilla didn't speak, for she feared that she'd start crying, "Because you are a good person, Carmilla Karnstein. And you deserve good things. Was I ever wrong in the slightest?"

"N-no," She mumbles, wiping her eyes, "Thank you, Perr."

Perry squeezed her shoulder lovingly and patted her back. Lafontaine and Laura had finished their reunion, and it was then the final members of their group finally pulled up.

Danny and Kirsch's four-year-old son, Wilson, bounded towards Laura and wrapped her in the largest hug he could muster with his tiny hands.

"Auntie Lu-Lu!" He exclaimed. "I've missed you so much!"

"Careful love, not so rough will Laura, okay? You wouldn't want to upset the babies." Carmilla soothes, running her hand through the boy's wavy ginger hair.

"Bab _ies_?" Kirsch replied with a gasp, "You're having more than one? Twins? Triplets? ARE YOU GOING TO BE OCTOMOM?"

Danny pinched the bridge of her nose. "I married an idiot."

The gang roared with laughter and Laura squeezed his shoulder, "Uh, no. There's only two. Didn't you watch our video when we went through our first ultrasound and saw them?"

"They have their own lives too, love. Not everyone has the opportunity to see  _every_  video we upload."

"Well. Er. Surprise, then! I'm having twins!"

Everyone laughed again and said their congratulations. They all walked in a group to the  _Crest_ float and greeted the manager before getting on. Carmilla was grateful there was a chair set out just for Laura to sit on if she ever became tired.

Carmilla couldn't think of another word to describe their experience. It truly was surreal. Here they were, two love struck idiots who just had a small YouTube channel that nestled safely in the community. It had become a safe space for young gays to express themselves and have a second home. That was another mind-blowing phenomenon—there were people who looked up to Carmilla and Laura, admired them for being so brave and loving and… free.

When she looked out into the crowd at all the young people, she couldn't help but see herself. Young and naïve and ready to face the world. At 27 years old, she was still learning about life, and had a long way to go.

Every day was a challenge, every day she came out to strangers.

And every day, she was just so blessed that she was now safe and had the opportunity to love her beloved Laura.

Looking at these young people covered in glitter and proudly sporting all different types of rainbow flags, she couldn't help but feel so inspired by them.  _They_ were the ones who were brave, who were proud and excited to be out today.

The rest of the afternoon seemed to happen through a dream, in Carmilla's eyes. Like something seen underwater. After they exited the parade, they met up with dozens of fans who were excited to meet them. Old and new.

It was  _beautiful_. Carmilla knew she'd cherish this moment forever.

It was when she felt herself walking onto the stage with her wife that she felt everything snap back into place, and she almost stumbled backwards.

"Carm? Are you okay, sweetheart?"

"Guh. Yeah. I'm fine." She mumbles, catching her breath.

"And welcoming to the stage is just two of our favorite, special gays—CARMILLA AND LAURA KARNSTEIN-HOLLIS!" The announcer boomed, and the crowd went nuts.

"Here we go," Laura said quietly, before stepping over to the microphone. The crowd suddenly grew quiet as she cleared her throat. "This is something that we'd like to call…  _Colors._ "

Heaving a nervous breath, Carmilla spoke, "Lesbian. Gay. Bisexual. Transgender. Non-binary. Man. Woman. These are all labels we give ourselves. Labels who describe us. Labels that remind us who we are. But in the end, they stand for nothing—because they are just  _labels_. We no longer live in a binary world where everything is black and white. We no longer must face injustice or cruelty because we just want to live. But does that give us the right to stop fighting? Does that mean our journey is over? No. It's never over." Carmilla smiled as the crowd cheers, "In life, I have learned to accept one simple rule: be kind. Be kind to one another. When in the face of adversity, be kind. When you're with your loved ones, be kind. Because in truth kindness, is the greatest medicine, the ultimate cure-all. When you are kind, the world gravitates towards you. You can take away our homes. You can take away our freedom. You can take away our livelihood. But we will continue to be kind and live as one because we are human. We are valid. We all have a voice. We will no longer be silent!"

Laura squeezes Carmilla's hand, "I was silent. I was beaten. I was almost on my deathbed seven years ago. I didn't know who I was. I didn't know what my future would be. I didn't know that the wonderful woman who changed my life would one day become my wife. I was scared. I hated myself. I was stuck in this strange world where I was alive but I was no longer living. The world was dull and grey. What were colors? What was happiness? What was my life? Who was I? These questions were swirling in my mind like a hurricane, beating me, mistreating me, until—," Laura placed a hand on her stomach, tears welling in her eyes.

"Clarity," Carmilla replies, hands shaking with unsung nerves, "She finally saw it. The first color she saw again was yellow, bright and luminescent like the sun. So powerful it was almost blinding. Then the rest came through, one by one, shaking her out of this living nightmare. She reached out to open the door, her hands shaking and her skin ablaze with fire. And she finally found me!"

The applause was deafening. Laura didn't bother fighting back her tears now, "My angel. My partner. My love. My soulmate. My  _wife_. She had her arms wide open, waiting for me. Ready to comfort me. Love me. Her heart and soul called out to mine and I knew it was time for me to let go. Let go of the pain, of the past, of the hurt. So, I did let go. She caught me. And the doors to my closet shut tight, never to be opened again. My wings grew tenfold and my love wrapped around her, strong enough to lift the both of us. And suddenly we were flying. Higher, higher,  _higher,_  until we could no longer see the dark, until we were saw nothing but color. And as I looked across the sky and saw the sun setting on the horizon, I cried with joy and realized that I am free. I am free." Carmilla wrapped her arms around Laura's waist, "My name is Laura. I am a woman. I am a lesbian. I am  _pregnant_. I am strong. Independent. Brave. Selfless. But never forget: I. Am.  _Human_."

Carmilla shook her head, barely in control of her own emotions, "My name is Carmilla. I am a woman. I am a lesbian. I will be a mother. I am strong. Independent. Brave. Selfless. But do I let any of these labels define who I am? No. Because I. Am.  _Human_."

It was then that both woman were emotionally spent, as they held each other and cried on stage. They didn't care. It didn't matter to them that thousands of people were in that crowd.

Pride. It was such a strong word, meaning different things to different people. To Laura and Carmilla, pride meant being  _free_. Being happy. Being in love. That simply waking up every day was a sheer miracle.

"Thank you, Carmilla," Laura finally said, once they had been ushered off stage and were taken to a quiet place. "Thank you for giving me a home. For giving… for giving  _us a home_." She added, placing a hand on her stomach.

"You are a freaking dork," Carmilla said weakly, "You're the one who gave  _me_  a home."

"For the last seven years, you've inspired me, Carm. Y-you've inspired me and reminded me that being gay is so beautiful. I-I don't regret anything in life that happened to me. And I most certainly do not regret meeting you. B-because if it weren't for you, I wouldn't even be alive right now."

"Fuck," Carmilla mumbled, resting her forehead against Laura's, "I love you so damn much."

"I-I'm not even going to reprimand you for the swear jar," She giggled weakly, wiping her eyes, "I love you too, Carm. Ugh. I love you so much sometimes it physically hurts."

Carmilla didn't say anything in response to that. Words were no longer needed. So, instead, she kissed her, right in the middle of a crowd of screaming fans, as Laura pumped her fists in the air like a complete dork.

(Several months later, Laura gave birth to two beautiful baby girls, Ellia and Mackenzie Karnstein-Hollis. And they all lived happily ever after.)

**THE END**

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, Carmilla. For giving me a home.   
> (there's so many people I want to thank but for those of you who've been with me from the very start, you know who you are. And I love you. And you are valid. :3)   
> xoxo, Nikki.


End file.
